Beard Science
by
Penny Reid
Winston Brothers #3
Publication Date: October 11, 2016
Genres: Adult, Contemporary, Humor, Romance
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Jennifer Sylvester wants one thing, and that one thing is NOT to be Tennessee’s reigning Banana Cake Queen. Ever the perpetual good girl and obedient daughter, Jennifer is buckling under the weight of her social media celebrity, her mother’s ambitions, and her father’s puritanical mandates. Jennifer is officially desperate.
And desperate times call for Cletus Winston.
Cletus Winston is a puzzle wrapped in a mystery covered in conundrum sauce, and now he’s in a pickle. Despite being convinced of his own omniscience, extortion by the exalted Banana Cake Queen of Green Valley has taken him completely by surprise. So… what’s a maniacal mastermind to do?
Likely, the last thing you expect.
‘Beard Science’ is the third book in the Winston Brothers series, is a full-length romantic comedy novel, and can be read as a standalone.
SEX! It all started with sex, between my parents. Personally I don’t like thinking about it, but whatever works for you is a-ok with me. No judgment. The sex happened in California and much of my life also occurred in that state until I moved from the land of nuts (almonds), wine, silicon… boobs, and heavy traffic to the southeast US. Like most writers I like to write, but let’s get back to sex. Eventually I married and gave birth to 2 small people-children (boy-6, girl-4 as of this writing). By day I’m a biomedical researcher with focus on rare diseases. By night I’m a knitter, sewer, lino block carver, fabric printer, soap maker, and general crafter. By the wee hours of the morning or when I’m intoxicated I love to listen to the voices in my head and let them tell me stories. I hope you enjoy their stories.
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“So Cletus told me I needed to change one
thing every day. He wasn’t specific about what I should change, just that I
should decide on the one thing myself.”
Billy nodded.
I continued. “At first I didn’t see the purpose, but—do you know?—Cletus was right. Something as trivial as paining my nails a different color made me feel like I could do anything I set my mind to.”
Billy smiled.
I continued. “Cletus also said-”
Billy cleared his throat. “Do you go to the jam session much? I think I’ve only seen you here a handful of times.”
“I don’t, actually. I’d like to, but Saturdays are busy. I’m usually making special orders on Friday night. I’ve heard you sing a few times, though. You should do it more often, you have such a nice voice.”
Billy smiled again, his eyes sliding to me then away. “Thank you.”
“And Cletus is amazing on the banjo. Last year he did a folksy version of Thriller, during Halloween. It was spectacular.”
Billy sighed.
Billy nodded.
I continued. “At first I didn’t see the purpose, but—do you know?—Cletus was right. Something as trivial as paining my nails a different color made me feel like I could do anything I set my mind to.”
Billy smiled.
I continued. “Cletus also said-”
Billy cleared his throat. “Do you go to the jam session much? I think I’ve only seen you here a handful of times.”
“I don’t, actually. I’d like to, but Saturdays are busy. I’m usually making special orders on Friday night. I’ve heard you sing a few times, though. You should do it more often, you have such a nice voice.”
Billy smiled again, his eyes sliding to me then away. “Thank you.”
“And Cletus is amazing on the banjo. Last year he did a folksy version of Thriller, during Halloween. It was spectacular.”
Billy sighed.
Conversation was surprisingly easy with
Billy Winston, once I stopped being afraid of saying the wrong thing. Instead
of worrying, I just said whatever I wanted. He wasn’t a big talker, other than
asking me questions, so I filled the silence. Sometimes what I said made him
laugh. Sometimes it made him nod. Sometimes it made him cough.
But usually whatever I said made him smile. And that was nice. He was nice.
He pulled his truck into the community center lot and it was clear the jam session was already in full swing. The evening was chilly, so folks were dressed in coats.
I pulled my shawl over my shoulders and Billy opened my door, helping me from the car. I slipped my fingers back into the crook of his elbow while trying to suppress a new, and more powerful, flutter of excitement as we approached the community center.
I wondered if Cletus would be there. I wondered what he would think of my dress, and my hair in a bun, and my purposefully minimal makeup, and my nail polish. Even though I was nervous, I grinned at the thought.
“What are you smiling about?” Billy asked, giving me the side eye.
“I’m nervous,” I answered honestly, feeling breathless, then asked before I could catch myself, “Do you think Cletus is here?”
Billy’s mouth tugged to the side and he studied my face. “I’m sure he is. Why?”
“I wonder what he’ll think of my dress,” I admitted excitedly.
Billy chuckled and shook his head.
“What? What is it?” I pressed, searching his profile for a sign as to why he was laughing.
He pulled us to a stop and faced me. “Since this is a practice date, do you want me to give you a tip?”
I nodded eagerly. “Yes, please. All tips are welcome.”
“Okay. Here goes,” he gathered large breath, like he was bracing himself, and said, “When you’re on a date with a man, it’s probably best not to bring up a different man.”
My lips parted as my face fell. “I’m sorry. I keep talking about your brother.”
“No, no. It’s fine.” He reached for my hand and squeezed it. “This is a practice, no need to apologize. I’m not upset. But if this were a real date, you bringing up Cletus and wondering what he’s going to think of your dress would definitely rub me the wrong way. If I’m on a date, I want that woman to be thinking only of me. Does that make sense?”
I nodded, because it did make sense. “Just like, I probably wouldn’t like it—if this were a real date—if you kept bringing up other woman.”
“That’s right.” He moved my hand back to his arm. “You’ll want to keep the conversation about the two of you.”
I considered things as we walked. “Thank you, Billy.”
“For what?” He opened the double door for me, placing his hand on the small of my back to usher me inside. The entryway was full of people, but I hardly noticed them.
“Thanks for doing this, and for the tip. Thanks for sacrificing your Friday night.”
Billy covered my fingers on his arm with his hand. “It’s not a sacrifice, Jennifer.”
“Well, it can’t be pleasant.”
He grinned again and gave me an incredulous look.
“What? What did I do this time? Do you have more tips?” I needed to know. I hoped he filled the whole night with tips, so I would be an expert when the time came for a real date.
Billy’s grin faded as his piercing blue eyes moved over my face. If he’d done this just last week I think I would’ve fainted on the spot, mortified and terrified and assured of my own failure.
But so much had changed in a week. I wasn’t afraid of him anymore. I was changing, becoming braver. So I met his glacial eyes straight on and lifted my eyebrows encouragingly.
“You can tell me, whatever it is,” I whispered earnestly, stepping closer. “Like I said, all tips welcome.”
Finally, he said, “You have no idea how gorgeous you are, do you?”
I gaped at him, because that was not what I’d expected him to say.
But usually whatever I said made him smile. And that was nice. He was nice.
He pulled his truck into the community center lot and it was clear the jam session was already in full swing. The evening was chilly, so folks were dressed in coats.
I pulled my shawl over my shoulders and Billy opened my door, helping me from the car. I slipped my fingers back into the crook of his elbow while trying to suppress a new, and more powerful, flutter of excitement as we approached the community center.
I wondered if Cletus would be there. I wondered what he would think of my dress, and my hair in a bun, and my purposefully minimal makeup, and my nail polish. Even though I was nervous, I grinned at the thought.
“What are you smiling about?” Billy asked, giving me the side eye.
“I’m nervous,” I answered honestly, feeling breathless, then asked before I could catch myself, “Do you think Cletus is here?”
Billy’s mouth tugged to the side and he studied my face. “I’m sure he is. Why?”
“I wonder what he’ll think of my dress,” I admitted excitedly.
Billy chuckled and shook his head.
“What? What is it?” I pressed, searching his profile for a sign as to why he was laughing.
He pulled us to a stop and faced me. “Since this is a practice date, do you want me to give you a tip?”
I nodded eagerly. “Yes, please. All tips are welcome.”
“Okay. Here goes,” he gathered large breath, like he was bracing himself, and said, “When you’re on a date with a man, it’s probably best not to bring up a different man.”
My lips parted as my face fell. “I’m sorry. I keep talking about your brother.”
“No, no. It’s fine.” He reached for my hand and squeezed it. “This is a practice, no need to apologize. I’m not upset. But if this were a real date, you bringing up Cletus and wondering what he’s going to think of your dress would definitely rub me the wrong way. If I’m on a date, I want that woman to be thinking only of me. Does that make sense?”
I nodded, because it did make sense. “Just like, I probably wouldn’t like it—if this were a real date—if you kept bringing up other woman.”
“That’s right.” He moved my hand back to his arm. “You’ll want to keep the conversation about the two of you.”
I considered things as we walked. “Thank you, Billy.”
“For what?” He opened the double door for me, placing his hand on the small of my back to usher me inside. The entryway was full of people, but I hardly noticed them.
“Thanks for doing this, and for the tip. Thanks for sacrificing your Friday night.”
Billy covered my fingers on his arm with his hand. “It’s not a sacrifice, Jennifer.”
“Well, it can’t be pleasant.”
He grinned again and gave me an incredulous look.
“What? What did I do this time? Do you have more tips?” I needed to know. I hoped he filled the whole night with tips, so I would be an expert when the time came for a real date.
Billy’s grin faded as his piercing blue eyes moved over my face. If he’d done this just last week I think I would’ve fainted on the spot, mortified and terrified and assured of my own failure.
But so much had changed in a week. I wasn’t afraid of him anymore. I was changing, becoming braver. So I met his glacial eyes straight on and lifted my eyebrows encouragingly.
“You can tell me, whatever it is,” I whispered earnestly, stepping closer. “Like I said, all tips welcome.”
Finally, he said, “You have no idea how gorgeous you are, do you?”
I gaped at him, because that was not what I’d expected him to say.
But before I could recover, a stern voice
to my left interjected. “She has no idea whatsoever.”
I turned and found Cletus standing at my shoulder. Startled, I stumbled a step to the side so I could see him better. What I found surprised me.
His jaw was clenched.
His mouth was curved into a frown.
And Cletus’ eyes, a dangerous and fiery blue, were narrowed on his brother.
I turned and found Cletus standing at my shoulder. Startled, I stumbled a step to the side so I could see him better. What I found surprised me.
His jaw was clenched.
His mouth was curved into a frown.
And Cletus’ eyes, a dangerous and fiery blue, were narrowed on his brother.
5 Penile Engorgement Stars
Every now and then you get a book in your hands that surprises the hell out of you. This was the case with Penny Reid's Beard Science. My friend Christie raved about the last one so I really wanted to see what the fuss is all about. Now let me tell you, this was my first Penny Reid book but it definitely won't be my last and I really need to catch up with this author's other books. This story can be read as a standalone but trust me when I say that you will want to read them all.
Jennifer is known as the Banana Cake Queen. She is a brand her mother knows how to market, Instagram account and a follower-ship of more than a million included. When she visits the sheriff's office to make a testimonial video about her baked goods Cletus, one of the Winston Brothers is there as well. When she watches her video at home she is surprised to find she has evidence of something Cletus did that gives her leverage to blackmail him into doing something for her.
When Jennifer approaches Cletus he is confused. This meek and docile woman blackmails him into helping her finding a worthy man she can marry and have a family with. But she doesn' t know his cunning mind...
Cletus
Cletus is the oddball in the Winston family and the protector. He is quirky and extremely intelligent and a lot of people have been on the receiving end of his revenge pranks. Nothing is simple about Cletus but when he talks he tells simple truths. There is something very wise about him that had me sit back a couple of times and mull over what he had just said. He is a unique character who uses his overactive brain first and feels second but Jennifer mixes it all up. She brings out the sweet in him and his confusion when he starts falling for her is hilarious. What I love about all of the Winston brothers is how they treat women. It's almost a little bit antiquated and all kinds of adorable.
Jennifer
Jennifer was a bit of a riddle to me in the beginning. I didn't understand why she let everyone bully her but every time somebody did my heart broke a little bit for her.
"And - oh God - Cletus, I'm the worst. I'm so awkward, my awkward is embarrassed by my awkward."
I loved how she started to rebel and once the backbone was firmly in place she stood up for herself. Jennifer is an incredibly sweet heroine with a kind heart and immense strength. She surprises the hell out of Cletus at every turn and his confusion about this slip of a woman is hysterical.
As a rule, I didn't like change. My Jennifer continuously surprised me, and her surprises were a thing of beauty.
The way they grow into something more is a slow but sweet burn. There is nothing hurried about them. They give a lot of thought to consequences but don't overthink too much. I loved them together.
She was so beautiful, my Jennifer. And not because of her eyes, or face, or any other outward attributes. The person she was held me transfixed. How could I have disregarded her? How could I have looked at her with anything but wonder and respect and desire?
Penny Reid's writing style is just wonderful. There is an old fashioned quality about the way people talk to each other - I really loved that. If you look for a sweet, funny book with tons of romance and a sweet kind of steam this definitely is one you should consider. I'm looking forward to Billy's story because I think there will be some heartbreak there.
"You want to know what you are to me? Fine. You're my beginning, my middle, and end."
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